Date Night with Myself

I finally done it. After months of eyeing the new wine bar in my hood, I finally decided to give it a try. I am not afraid of trying new restaurants or foods (okay, maybe oysters). I have been afraid of eating at a restaurant alone. And fast food joints don’t count. I have been grabbing take-out for months and those places are starting to know my exact orders. I needed to get out of my comfort zone, mostly off my couch and away from Netflix. Well, at least for one kid-free evening. This solitary dining experience was to be different. No kids. No friends. Just me.

As the children were getting ready to leave, I was busy running around getting myself ready. I put on my silky blue shirt dress that I have been dying to wear all summer. Seriously, wish I had worn it more. I added my strappy brown low heel sandals and very minimal jewelry. Minimal makeup as well except, I dabbed on my red Korean lip tint and mascara. Obsessed with K-beauty and this tint does not disappoint. It’s super pigmented and very little goes a long way, just careful not to get it on your teeth. Trust me. And I was ready for my date with myself.

I escorted the kids out and said goodbye. I always give them a few minutes to walk away to give them space to be with him but also to protect my privacy from him. After a few minutes, I see them turn the corner and I know that I am free for the next 48 hours. Actually, less than 48 hours because he needed me to watch them for a few hours. I will serve you that drama in another post.

I walked a short way to the new restaurant. Not many people were inside. The few people there were coupled. It made me nervous because I wanted to get lost in the crowd hoping not to get glances because I would be dining alone. I went in anyway and there was no hostess or server in sight. I had to ask the bartender if I could sit anywhere. Way not to draw attention to myself. I very quickly chose the furthest seat by the window.  I wish I chosen a seat rationally because the setting sun was scorching. I had to leave my sunglasses on but I didn’t mind because it offered some security from the stares.

My server finally came over and took my order. I ordered a glass of wine and pasta with mussels. She brought out bread and olive oil before my meal was served. Not only was I grateful for the bread to keep me busy and feeling less awkward but it was so good. Love when restaurants serve rustic, handmade bread.

So yeah …eating my bread and totally feeling fine. And that is when I ruined it. I checked my phone. I wanted to check some emails and I realized I forgot to send one of my kiddos with something. I had already told him that I would send it with him so I need to go on TalkingParents and apologize for the oversight. But then I very quickly received a message in return. I should have waited to check it later but I thought it was something wrong with kiddo #1 since he was very recently diagnosed with asthma. Nope, it wasn’t. He needed me to send #1’s swimsuit.

I sent this message:

” Yes, I will send his things since I provide everything!!!!I will send the swimsuit but you must provide a change of clothes. And thanks for ruining my dinner!!!!”

To my Friend. It’s great to text angry messages that you meant for ex to your friend. It lets out the frustration. So grateful for that friend.

So to sum up my first date with myself: decent food, overpriced wine, Instagram worthy atmosphere, except I am not on Instagram. I am proud that I finally ventured out solo. I didn’t hide behind my kids or a friend. But next time for sure, I will try to leave the phone and sunglasses at home. But definitely wear the Korean lip tint again, it stayed on after all that pasta!

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Etude House, Dear Darling Lip Tint
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Author: CM Johnson

I am a single mom of three, with one kiddo on the spectrum. I love to scrapbook, knit, and pretty much go overboard with crafts. I love to run and challenge my brother to 5Ks. I am picking up the pieces of my life and forming my identity and sharing this process on my blog, in hopes of helping other mommas going through the same experiences.