I have been on a hiatus due to life. However, I was not writing because my children and I were beginning to thrive. I started divorce proceedings, moved us to our own apartment, and got us all back on a good routine. We were finally getting to a good place place but now the shock of what has happened is wearing off and I have turned off survival mode.
Yet as we get use to our new environment and family dynamics, there is regression creeping back. The children must adjust to seeing the other “parent” ( I am the parent as I do the the actual parenting) and there has been expressed fear of staying with him at his place. All the these changes haven taken its toll on my oldest mental health and my second autistic child is now struggling to perform basic skills. Even the youngest at two is beginning to throw major tantrums when she returns from being with him.
I think partly for the children being so confused is that they now have to go back and forth between two completely different households. Here at my home, I keep to routines and consistent rules and expectations. An example, of this is that my second child with Autism does not like to wear pants but I make sure he keeps them on and will do so through out the day no matter how hard of a time he gives me. He needs to get use to wearing pants and not putting them back on him will only make it that much harder.
I can’t help them when they are with their father, I can only reassure them that I am here waiting for them to get back. I do love when they come back and it seems that they can take a deep breath. Relieved they can be themselves and relax in their home. Yes, I am home.